Aug 5, 2007

Put Some South in Your Mouth

Apparently my streak of horrifically bad karma has ended, in a big way. For several months now I have obsessed over meeting Paula Deen and her deliciously adorable sons on my trip to Savannah. Basically every time I mentioned meeting them I was mocked and reassured that everybody wants to eat at The Lady & Sons and meet the crew. It is true, while in Savannah this week I heard many people talk about how they'd love to meet her. And if they had gone down to Congress street on Thursday like I did.




And waited in this line for 3 hours like I did.



Then they could have met Paula at the grand opening of the Paula Deen store, like I did.



And while they waited in line they could have made desperate attempts to make eye contact with Bobby, the precious single one, and have his friend notice like I did.



Then he would turn, wink, smile, and pose for you to take the picture like I did.



And then because you had an instant connection like I did. When you get to the front of the line to meet the momma, like I did. You can ask to take a picture with the boys, like I did.



Then you can obsess about it the rest of the day and text a million people like I did. Or show your waiter at the restaurant your pictures, like I did. And be so giddy that you pose with the menu like I did.




And of course enjoy the food so much you go back a second day, like I did. But at least I didn't kiss my pie like she did!

Aug 8, 2007

The Great Kidney Swap of '07

Tomorrow is the big day. The one where my brother gives his kidney to his wife. Is my family altruistic or what? I am trying not to be all selfish and bitter because of course they are getting tons of attention with it being a life altering surgery and everything. But to be honest, I am feeling a little like the forgotten child. I mean my evil older sister is getting all sorts of attention cause she went and lost 100 lbs, David gives away a kidney and everybody is like "ohhh, wow, poor you", and Stumpy knocks up his wife and you'd think she was the first women to give birth ever. I had hopes that meeting Paula and Boys would rank, but so far only one person in my family has even acknowledged the pictures, and she didn't even know who Paula Deen was. As if!

Maybe I will work on having a scandalous interaction with a hot single doctor while waiting around in the hospital for the next few days. That ought to be worth something wouldn't you think?

And just to clarify as to not have people leaving comments of how I am going to hell for being jealous over a kidney transplant and birth of a baby, sarcasm is really the way I cope. To prove myself otherwise, check out the essentials I purchased for Stumpy-ette at Old Navy. How perfect is the time for them to start this line?

(more fox baby clothes)
I don't have a way yet to prove my non really going to hell behavior in regards to the kidney swapping, but maybe while I am crammed into the pleather, rock hard waiting chairs at the hospital I will take some photos of my truly selfless acts of sisterhood, like me eating hospital food or something.

Aug 9, 2007

So Far So Good

Out of boredom, which in reality is a good thing, I may be posting a lot today. I have started a list of rather random comments I am hearing here in the surgical waiting room. If it gets to good to share I will go ahead and post those.

My brother, Dave, is now in the recovery area. They had anticipated giving his left kidney to Missy and told us the surgery would take about 90 minutes. After 2.5 hours my mother was crawling the walls and looking more like Mad Eye Mooney than any good southern momma should. I have never seen her move faster when our pager finally went off. Apparently Dave's surgery took longer because when they started gutting him, they found his left kidney has two tubes that drain the urine, making that the better kidney to leave inside him. It apparently is trickier to remove the right kidney hence the reason the entire procedure took longer than anticipated. I sort of imagined the doctors getting all frustrated looking over blue prints of a body and having to readjust their positions over my brother while he lay there filleted like a fish. But the good news is they are now attaching his right kidney inside Missy. If all goes well she should be out in a few hours. In the mean time I am continuing to look for ways to entertain myself and by entertain myself I mean walking around looking sassy yet confused in the hopes that some hot single doctor offers his help, whereby we strike up a conversation and instantly fall madly in love. We could have kidney cake toppers at the wedding as to always remember the precious circumstances that brought us together, tender eh?

Aug 9, 2007

Gerber Daisies Are My Favorite

So as it turns out I wasn't so much having good vacation karma as it was the calm before the storm. The past two weeks have been so insanely hectic and full of stress and drama that I have routinely been pinching myself convinced that at any moment I would be waking up from the world's worst nightmare.

For those who have been asking all has gone well post recovery from the Great Kidney Swap of '07. Missy's new kidney is flushing and filtering and her creatinine levels are the best they have been in about 4 years. So hooray for a thus far productive kidney swap.




This is actually a photo taken the night before the surgery. I didn't take any while she was in ICU because seriously, if someone took my picture looking like that I would have them hunted down and killed in the most brutal manner possible. I do know where to draw the line people, at least most of the time.




I do have a few tips for anyone who may be helping a loved one through this process in the future.

1. Whatever is your vice or guilty pleasure that gets you through difficult times, stock up on lots of it. When you think you have plenty, buy more. You will never have too much highly caffeinated beverage with crushed ice, indulgent supply of candy, or past issues of People to get you through the long hours and nights in the hospital. You might be tempted to think those long hours and nights are all about the actual person getting the kidney but if you aren't happy and calm it's really hard to keep them happy and calm.

2. Forget looking cute and go for comfort. Having the foresight of spending multiple days in the hospital with the potential of meeting single and soon to be wealthy doctors I packed outfits that would show off how lovely I would look at country club gatherings. Stupid. Seriously, I now know why scrubs were invented.

3. Speaking of scrubs pay attention to them. From my highly scientific research I found that those nurses who dress in fun whimsical prints will be your friend. They will sneak you into the snack closet, let you in before visiting time, let you stay past visiting time, and will hook you up with a cozy blanket when you're freezing your grits off because the one with the new kidney insists that her room be cold enough to cause a snow storm. The ones wearing solid colored boring scrubs are all about rules and regulations. They don't answer questions. They don't like you, the patient, or the fact that make jokes about wishing you had a morphine pump. Avoid these nurses but be careful they smell fear and will use it against you.

As if running all over the hospital for a week wasn't enough drama this past week nearly sent me over the edge. We had our beginning of the year staff meetings which includes all of our staff across the entire state. This year we are celebrating our 20th anniversary so I was on the committee for the big celebration dinner. I was in charge of creating a slide show with pictures from the past 20 years set to music. Not a problem, I had the ability to make it. I did it. It was tender and sure to bring tears and laughter. Except I woke up Monday morning with the plan to burn it to a CD and head into the office but that never happened. For whatever buggy reason I could NEVER get it to burn correctly. I had put way to much time and effort into this slide show to just give up. I spent about an hour with tech support for the people who make the program, I called techy people, I prayed for the computer. Seriously, I saw Legacy*. If the Lord could heal that ox, I figured my computer wasn't to far fetched. I tried everything.

Finally after hours of frustration and panic I unplugged my entire desktop, loaded into my car, and took it to work. On my way to the office I contacted a friend who gave me some ideas to try and get the file from my desk top to the laptop for that night's presentation. After spending another 2 hours at work trying those ideas I gave up. So just as a recap, I took apart my desk top, loaded into my car, unloaded it at the office, hooked it up, took it back apart and loaded it back into my car, unloaded it at the location of the anniversary dinner, put it back together, took it back apart and loaded it back into my car to take home, and got home to unload it and put it back together on my desk. I am so buying a laptop.

All of that for a 13 minute slide show. I spent more hours trying to get that damn thing burned to a CD than I spent actually putting it together. The wasted time wouldn't have bothered me so much except that I desperately needed those hours to work on the four hour training that I was responsible for giving the staff on Wednesday morning. To make Monday even more FANTASTIC, I arrived home that night around 10:00 walked into my house to find it FLOODED. Enter melt down mode. I was already completely exhausted from the week before, additional exhaustion from the panic and stress of the morning's antics, freaking out because I had not been able to work on my presentation, and now there was an inch of water in my entry way and laundry room, and my carpet about 5 feet into my living room and hallway were soaked.

The maintenance crew claimed it was from the power washing the outside of the building that day. This would be the second (and not last) time I have arrived home to find such a glorious welcome home. The first time they claimed it was a really heavy rain storm. I could never quite figure it out, but whatever. The next day they sent someone over to suck up the water and clean the carpet. I still had to deal with the damage but things could always be worse.

Oh yes, they can be worse. Here is where it gets super fun. I picked up what I thought was a cold staying in the hospital. Makes sense being around all those germs. The cold turned out to be more of a severe allergy flair up triggering my asthma in a big way. Seeing as how when my asthma is triggered I can't breathe and all, and cough like a girl refusing her TB meds, and as always I start to lose my voice I was thrilled. Even with my inhaler I find the more I talk the more I cough and the more I cough the faster I lose my voice. Well, you might recall several raging paragraphs ago I mentioned I was doing a F.O.U.R. H.O.U.R. training for the entire staff on Wednesday. Via nothing short of a miracle not only did I find the hours in the day to finish preparing my presentation but I actually made it through the presentation without hacking up a lung or collapsing into heap on the floor while turning blue and praying for the angel of mercy to relieve me from this mortal tomb called earth. I did eventually lose my voice but thankfully it happened after the presentation.

After a highly eventful few days I was really looking forward to a relaxing weekend. I came home Friday evening around 7 to find my home flooded again. Who power washes the same building twice in a week? After chucking my purse across the room and stomping around using every creative four letter word I could spew out of my barely audible voice I called maintenance. I mean honestly twice in one week this was more than ridiculous. Thankfully by 9:00 they had someone back out to suck the water out of the carpet again and this week they will be washed again. Nothing like musty wet carpet to help a woman in respiratory distress. I think based on the letter I have written to the management I might get slightly more than my carpets cleaned as compensation this go around.

So there you have it. The insanity that is my so called life. The reason why I currently look like a zombie, have serious black bags under my eyes, and deserve for someone to send me flowers to work just because they love me and I am great. Not that I am dropping any hints or anything.

* For the record I am in no way endorsing the viewing of this movie. In fact, this movie shames me and my religion. If you like it, I don't want to hear about it. If I never see this movie again, it will be Zion to me.

Aug 21, 2007

Desperado, Why Don't You Come to Your Senses?

Her: How are you, Ms Deen?

Me: Still dreaming of an afternoon spent feeding Bobby grits while I caress his sweet southern skin.

Her: lol

Me: I know, I need a life.

Her: No, no don't lose your fantasies!

Me: Girl, I am 32, single, and Mormon. My fantasies are all I have.

Her: lol

Aug. 22, 2007

Only a Mother's Love

Mom: Good news. I no longer have sleep apnea. However my legs twitch 500 times a night because of RLS. Your brother and sister have it too.

Me: Great. Well, maybe I have dad's insides and will avoid it.

Mom: You definitely have his outsides. I wonder if RLS would be easier?

Me: Did you just call me ugly?

Mom: No, just think I am prettier than your father.

Me: Thanks. I can just blame my spinsterhood on looking like a man.

Mom: Not a man, just looking like the Fox's.

Me: ...............

Aug 28, 2007

Because I am self obsessed, what can I say?

Apparently the children's clothing gods are smiling down on the procreation abilities of Stumpy and Smurfette. I already dropped a load at Old Navy with these darlings. Now Gymboree has joined in the fun. I am not usually a fan of the Gym, but how on earth could these be passed up?

(fox bib)

Totally justifiable, I didn't buy a bib for the babe yet.

(fox blanket)

Yeah, yeah I bought the ON blanket, but the baby will need at least two so she still has one when the other is being washed. So justifiable.

(fox hoodie)

And please, we can't let her ears freeze off in these ridiculously harsh NC winters. I mean this just isn't a gift of a hoodie it's practically emergency preparedness.

(fox sox)

And don't think for one second that I could have possibly passed on these babies. For the love, I am the queen of emergent literacy! How could we not have Fox in Socks?

In order to satisfy my every wish I still hope to purchase this piece. I will have to see if my local store has it in stock.

It's hard to believe she'll be arriving in just two months. Based on Smurfette's appearance this weekend I am not quite sure how she'll make it. At this point if she arrives early I most likely could keep my role as the favorite auntie and not have to be her favorite early interventionist. But for everyone's sake let's hope she just holds tight until fall. Besides, I wouldn't wish anyone to arrive in this blasted heat wave. Not mention that then she wouldn't be the right sizes at the right seasons for all of these precious clothes I have bought her.

Oct. 16, 2007

I know, I know

So pretty much the last two months I had to cut some things out and clearly the blog was one of those things. I realize that everyone who blogs is busy but my multi tasking had reached a level of "Send Me to Dix on a One Way Ticket" like never before.

The problem with being so insanely busy is not just lack of time to post but I find when I am running around like a crazed person that I don't even have time to reflect on the current happenings in order to find things post worthy. However, the last few days have offered multiple nuggets and have brought me out of my post drought, at least temporarily.

Last weekend I went home for a follow up doctors appointment. And might I add a generous shout out to Dr. Detriech who thankfully kept me from killing myself via self inflected lung extraction. My asthma had been such a beast over the past four months but thanks to his magic I can now breath. I find my cranky levels have significantly improved along with my ability to breath. Directly proportional? I think so.

Anyway, so I was home for one last lung test as well as Smurfette's baby shower. Ahh a baby shower. Let's just say this, remember the wedding? It's gonna be a long ride people. A very long ride. Harperk tells me I have become a snob living in the Hill. If being a snob means I like for people to dress in something other than what they wear to a yard sale on Saturday morning to a baby shower than not only am a snob but I am darn near the Queen of Snobland. Also, if the good Lord above ever sees fit to deliver me from the land of bareness and withering ovaries and someone throws me a baby shower so help me I will cut your face if you insist on games, serve chips and salsa, and try and make me wear some stupid hat made from the bows removed from gifts. Maybe I spoke to soon on the levels of my crankiness.

One of the greatest treats this trip home included helping the 'rents and Missy get ready for an 80s birthday bash. I love the fact that my parents are 60 and 57 and were as happy to dress up for this celebration as anyone. I especially love that my mother didn't have to buy a costume but already had a Rod Stewart t-shirt at hand and my dad had white "dungarees". He insists on calling them that even though I tell him all the time that no one knows what he is talking about and he should just say jeans. I also braided Missy's hair for the oh so fab crimped look and we couldn't forget the wings. As a side note I think Missy and David look pretty good two months post kidney swap.




Saturday night the family gathered for dinner to celebrate David's 39th birthday. My sister turned 40 this week too, it feels weird to have siblings so old. Weird. Anyway, we were gathered for dinner and of course the conversation turned to the impending birth of Gabby. She is due on the 28th and large numbers of us want her born prior to the 31st so she can be dressed in one of those adorable Halloween costumes for infants even though it's likely that she wouldn't so much as leave the house in it. This conversation made me realize that it's not just the quality of events like weddings and showers that make me fear the worst for this dear child.

Mom: I cannot decide if I like the pea pod or candy corn costume best.

Smurfette: I know, I think I would buy her one of each but they are so expensive.

Stumpy: Expensive? I saw them for like 12 bucks.

Smurfette: You saw costumes for the baby that cheap? WHERE?

Stumpy: Pet's Smart. No need to spend lots of money on something she isn't going to hardly wear. Pet's smart has them puppies. Four holes-- two arms and two legs that is all we need.

Me: Mom, to think you spent all that money on a new cradle. Apparently Stumpy would be just as content with a dog bed.

If you knew Stumpy, you'd know he isn't even kidding. He is seriously that cheap. The fruit doesn't fall that far from the tree. But if I come home to find my new niece dressed in this little number

(photo)

I am so calling DSS.

Oct 17, 2007

And You People Think I am Dramatic

Last night I was talking to my almost 8 year old nephew Dallas.

Me: How is school going?

Dallas: Great, everything is great except for specials.

Me: What is going on with specials?

Dallas: I tripped over a boy yesterday after I tagged him and hit my head on a metal post.

Me: Oh man, that really stinks I bet that hurt.

Dallas: Yes, but at least I tagged him first.

Me: That is a really positive way to view things. I am impressed.

Dallas: Even more impressive is the way my eye is swollen shut. I have a bump so big I can't wear my football helmet so I can't play in the game this week.

Me: Holy cow. That sounds like quite the goose egg.

Dallas: Did you not just hear what I said? It's so big I cannot wear my football helmet. That isn't a goose egg. It's more like a condor egg!

Me: Wow. I am so sorry. This sounds like a very serious knot on your head.

Dallas: Who am I talking to anyway?

Something tells me this injury may be more than a condor egg. We had been talking for over five minutes at this point and he didn't know he was talking to his aunt. The same aunt he had talked to on the phone three days earlier.

Oct. 23, 2007

2 Chronicles 21:14

North Carolina is facing "exceptional drought" conditions. The news claims that we faced a drought in 2002, but I don't remember it. This is the first time I remember being fined if I am caught watering my garden and a plea from the governor to take shorter showers. It's the first time I remember actually hoping we'd get a hurricane. We. Need. Rain.

It hasn't slipped past me that NC is facing this exceptional drought after we passed the "educational" lottery. I have read the Old Testament and if there is one thing I know it's that the Lord will put a serious smack down on the wicked. I voted against the lottery but knew it would inevitability get passed. For the most part I am oblivious to the lottery except for on the occasion I actually decide to go inside to pay for my gas and I am forever stuck behind a zillion people buying lottery tickets. This is incredibly annoying because it's not like people just chuck their cash on the counter and ask for three tickets. Oh no, the procedure is intricate with what feels like 20 choices and people always want some obscure combination of tickets. I kid not when I say I waited in line for seven minutes with two people in front me who were only purchasing tickets. That will teach me to leave my debit card in my jeans pocket.

So yes, we are having a drought. We need rain. I pray for rain. And tomorrow the forecast is promising rain. Rain all night tonight. All day tomorrow. Lots and lots of beautiful wet rain. Only, TOMORROW IS OUR FIELD TRIP TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH! I could seriously spit nails. I cannot drag the rugrats through the wet mucky pumpkin fields with rain and more rain. For the love, why on earth of all days during this drought does it have to rain tomorrow? Nothing is cuter than the kids chubby hands grabbing at pumpkins. I know, because they grabbed them at the farmers market in anticipation of this field trip. They grabbed them today in class as we gutted a pumpkin in anticipation of this field trip. They grabbed mini pumpkins for pumpkin bowling in anticipation of this field trip.

Guess what people, I am heading out the door to go buy a lottery ticket, in anticipation of this field trip. It simply cannot rain tomorrow.

Oct. 24, 2007

The Power of Improvising

It rained today.

It rained hard and long. And thundered, lots and lots of thunder. Oh how the kids LOVED the thunder. Just check our the claw marks across my arms today if you don't catch the sarcasm there.

We had to improvise and make our own pumpkin patch because nothing sets off a group of three year olds more than to pump them up for a week talking about going to the pumpkin patch and have them show up and suddenly tell them they have to suck it up and play with blocks today instead.

So we turned off the lights and turned on our Target light up pumpkins and hid them all over the room.

Don't even ask me what Miss O is doing here. Every time she found a pumpkin she put it up to her stomach.


Cbird brings another pumpkin to the circle.


My favorite part of the day was when we told Cbird that we wouldn't go to the pumpkin patch today. She proudly exclaimed "Good, all done patch!" while she patted her right eye. Cbird's right eye has been patched for about 6 months and needless to say she really hated that. I never thought about her connecting her eye patch to the pumpkin patch. There is no telling what sort of mental image she has had going on.

Nov. 1, 2007

Teaser

I didn't have time last night to write a full post as I was busy summoning my inner Paula Deen in anticipation of today's farewell luncheon for the best student teacher ever. Michael returns to Seattle today and I am not sure who is going to miss him most, myself or the kidos. As a teaser here are some cute shots the parents emailed me from our festivities including our make up field trip to the pumpkin patch. I must say the weather gods really made up for the rain last week because we couldn't have had a prettier fall day at the patch!
(photo)
Cbird wasn't sure about the love of her life in this monkey suit. Later she figured it out but at first she wouldn't get near him. Yes, I was a high contrast witch for children with low vision. Am I dedicated to my job or what?

FYI, the duck isn't part of the costume, it's part of the method used to keep him in it.

I just couldn't resist this one. I love how baggy her tights were especially at the ankles.

Who doesn't love to hug a pumpkin?

Nov. 3, 2007

Gabriella, the things that I tell ya

It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I first became a favorite Auntie 15 years ago. I was lucky enough that the first time it happened twice in a two week period. I remember holding Stumpy Jr, that chunk of a nephew (9lbs 6 ozs, 21"), in my arms and thinking I could never imagine what it must feel like to be a mother. I loved him so much and it seemed impossible to feel more love than I was feeling yet it certainly must be more with your own child. Since that first burst of auntly adoration I have felt those overwhelming sensations of new love three more times. It's been 8 long years since I was able to snag the title of favorite aunt. The Evil Sister and The One Missing a Kidney have all thankfully been cut off from the game. My family has given up hope on my uterus ever being good for anything besides collecting dust so we have all anxiously awaited the arrival of Gabby. She was due on Sunday and apparently is chocked full of the "You can't make me" gene from our family. She kept herself way up high, refused to swim down, and used some magical stubborn spell that even kept Smurfette from dilating.

Brave Smurfette and Stumpy were ushered off to the operating room after an entire day of being in labor and still only at 2 centimeters for Gabby to arrive via cesarean. She arrived at 6:32 pm weighing 7 lbs 12.5 oz and is 19". My mother called and immediately informed me that she looks just like Stumpy, however I am guessing that is a biased opinion. I look forward to arriving this afternoon and making that judgment call for myself.

I think Stumpy is going to have his hands full because Gabby has already decided she can one up him on everything. Stumpy's birthday is 11/1, Gabby is 11/2. Stumpy weighed 7 lbs 11 ozs, Gabby weighed one more ounce, and Stumpy was delivered c-section because he was was breach, Gabby said she could match that and swam herself back up high. While I use my special baby whispering powers to lull her into knowing that I am the favorite aunt, I may also be guilty of telling her it's ok to drive her daddy crazy.

Gabriella Adelaide*


Smurfette and Gabby**


* I know, but I didn't pick it and basically I was so happy that they didn't use any of the family names I wanted that they could name her Dirt and I would be thrilled.

**These not so great cell phone shots will have to do until I get down there today, but trust me you will be so sick of pics in the end that the blog will probably be changed to Obsessed Favorite Auntie With a Useless Uterus Who Needs to Get a Life.

Nov 4, 2007

You Know You're a Cute Little Heart Breaker

For some reason I can't get my camera's memory card to work in mom's little machine, so for now I have to use some of the pictures from her camera. Gabby is darling and succumbed beautifully to the tactics of her baby whispering auntie. I held her for three hours today while Stumpy and Smurfette slept. Seriously, the best three hours of my life in a long time.

(again, more photos here!)

Stumpy has started calling her Popeye. She is displaying her winking skills here.




Notice she doesn't exactly have a neck. It's ok though because she has three chins instead.



Could you not just bite those fat cheeks right off? If I kissed them once today, I kissed them a hundred times!

Nov. 9, 2007

You Can Thanks Me Later

I signed up to bring two dozen cupcakes to our visiting teaching conference. In the same breath as the announcement to attend this "special event" the planner asked for volunteers to use a cake mix and bring cupcakes to the event. Blasphemous right? Special events do not have cupcakes made from a mix. Cupcakes made from a mix are for rugrats who mostly crumble the cake around them and just lick the frosting off.* Or ones who drop them in fountains. Cupcakes for adults at "special events" deserve to be homemade. So my pompous self agreed to make them for the event if I could make them homemade. I was quickly reassured that the mix would be fine but if I insisted I could bring them homemade. No surprise that this request came from the same person who only contributed recipes that contain cream of crap soups to our Relief Society cookbook. Anyway, last night I was set to make homemade cupcakes for Enrichment. I have a tried and true cake recipe that always turns out moist and delish but this week I had some buttermilk that I needed to use. I went searching for a chocolate cupcake recipe that included buttermilk and after trolling a few recipes online I settled on the one listed below.

Let me reassure you that this is probably the most delectable cupcake recipe I have ever tasted. After I mixed it up in Ruby Ann I was slightly nervous. It tasted heavenly but having never seen a cake batter that consistency I was admittedly nervous that I had made a mistake. The batter is very, very thick. Rest assured, there was no mistake. These babies baked up beautifully, evenly, and brought tears to my eyes from the first bite. These babies made me swear, outloud. Cupcakes for church made me sin but I am pretty sure if I could make these cupcakes for the judgment bar I would be forgiven. (And I am calling using a cake mix blasphemous!) If you have any excuse at all this weekend to make cupcakes I implore you to try out this recipe. If you don't have an excuse, make one up you won't regret it.

Chocolate Buttermilk Cupcakes
Ingredients

* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
* 1 cup granulated sugar
* 1 cup firmly-packed light brown sugar
* 4 large eggs, room temp
* 6 oz unsweetened chocolate, melted
* 1 cup buttermilk
* 1 tsp vanilla extract


Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Line muffin tins with paper liners.
2. In a small bowl, sift together flour and baking soda. Set aside.
3. In a large bowl, on medium speed of your mixer, cream butter until smooth. Add sugars and beat until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add chocolate, mixing until well incorporated.
4. Add dry ingredients in 3 parts, alternating with the buttermilk and vanilla. With each addition, beat until ingredients are incorporated but do not overbeat. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the batter in the bowl to make sure ingredients are well blended and the batter is smooth. Carefully spoon the batter into the cupcake liners, filling them about 3/4 fulls.
5. Bake at 350F for 20-25 minutes until the tester toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in the tins for 15 minutes before removing them from the tins and cool completely on cooling racks before frosting.

*Our appropriately used box mix cupcakes early this week in class.

(lots os photos, will try and add them later!)

Nov. 13, 2007

Ask DanaLee

I read my horoscope religiously, actually, shamefully I might even read my horoscope more regularly than those religious things I should read religiously. But I will bring that up with my Bishop and not with you, my friendly non judgmental readers.

Pisces Horoscope
(Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Sometimes you have more compassion for others than you do for yourself. The good news is that you can be a great friend today for someone you want to get to know better by offering comfort and practical advice. The difficult experiences you've recently had are now your most powerful source of insight.


Because I am such a giver I am deciding to take my horoscope up on it's recommendation and provide you all with comfort and practical advice. Just remember I am a "powerful source of insight" and you may not always like the practicality of it all. Also, I am a raging beast of hormones at the moment so don't take it personally if I tell you to suck it up and get a real problem. Leave your question or need for comfort in the comments and I will be sure to answer promptly.

Dec. 17, 2007

Go Home and Get Some Sleep You Are Not McGyver

I realize that once again I have been MIA without explanation. Suffice it say that 2007 will be known as the year I ineffectively, inefficiently, and haphazardly multi tasked my way through a year.

After more than a 12 hour attempt to get home from a four day trip to Oklahoma* to visit my sister et al., I arrived home yesterday exhausted to the point of near mania. The four hour nap helped tremendously, but I still felt pretty beat at work today. This afternoon I was bumbling around my office attempting to catch up on paper work and plan lessons clearly making more of mess than actually being productive. I knew it was time to give up and go home when the following scenario occurred.

This is one of those situations that I honestly cannot figure out how it happened but afterwards I laughed myself into a fit of tears, turned of the computer, and signed out of work early. I knocked off a stack of papers and leaned over the arm of my chair to pick them up. As I went to lean back up I was snapped back down unable to sit up. Baffled I looked to see what on earth had happened. Apparently the way I bent down combined with my bra and arm of the chair created a virtual boobie trap, yes pun intended! The end of the arm of my chair had hooked into a gap in my bra causing my bra to stick around the end, pinning me to my chair. In my amazement of the situation, after I unhooked myself, I tried to recreate the moment and my bra never again decide to suck in the arm chair so I still have no idea how this all happened. You probably just reread those last sentences trying to figure this out all. You aren't crazy, it's a freakish situation and doesn't make sense.

I just know that tonight I am going to bed early.

*Wouldn't you just know I had to visit OK the week of freakish snow and ice storms and it was 80 degrees in NC all last week. Seriously, mother nature hates me.

Dec. 19, 2007

Yes Virginia, There Is A Santa Claus

Monday, a mysterious gigantic package was delivered to my office. The top of the box had a note which read "Open With Your Class!"

I said, "It could be a bomb, I better open it now!"

I slit open the bottom of the package and saw a wrapped box so I sucked it up and decided to open with my class as originally instructed. I dragged the heavy giant box to my class yesterday morning.

I showed everyone the box and read the note out loud.




We opened the box and started to pull out the paper.


After all of the paper we found bubble wrap.




Then we found a box wrapped so pretty.


It was a brand new computer complete with operating systems installed!


No doubt we are all thrilled and excited to use our new computer!


This picture doesn't really have anything to do with the box but by golly it was darling I just wanted to share it. Ben wanted to hold her hand all morning.


I have no idea who our secret Santa and obviously kind donor could be. But if they happen upon this post THANK YOU SANTA! I am so very thankful.

Jan. 5, 2008

Recap and Welcome 2008

Really, the past two months have gone by in a whirlwind.

First, there was Thanksgiving where our family had our first S&M Turkey.




When dad decided to smoke the turkey we read that it had to be tied onto the rotisserie. I think he took it to the extreme but in the end we had this delicious bird so no one really complained about the over zealous culinary twine.




I was most thankful for spending the day with baby Gabby. Seriously, who couldn't resist seconds of nibbling on her chunky legs more than on turkey.



The week after Thanksgiving I went to Tampa to present at an international literacy conference. I was pretty jazzed my submission was accepted on my own accord and not with big name PhDs associated with me. I was also excited to be in 80 degree weather with a fantastic beach.


This was the view outside of my room.

Between the scope of my presentation being narrow and the fact that I was presenting by myself (without the one with all the lipstick), I didn't expect a big crowd. I provided handouts for 35 people. I stopped counting, to avoid major anxiety attack, when the 150th person sat down in the gigantic ballroom. Seriously, what were these people thinking? It was JUST ME! The presentation couldn't have gone smoother and was very well received. A huge reinforcement to know that I am truly doing good things for my students. So this nerd is patting her own back. Deal.

Before I could blink from coming home from Tampa it was time to return again to G-vegas for Gabby's blessing.





You might think I would actually have a picture here of Gabby with Stumpy and Smurfette. However, that would have required their cooperation and by the time I arrived at their home after church they had changed their clothes and Gabby's. I was slightly miffed particularly since I said no less than a thousand times how I wanted to get family photos after church with Gabby in her gown. So I took family history preservation in my own hands and after Gabby got milked up, I put her back in her gown and at least took pictures of her with Pawpaw, Grandmama, and myself.

Three days later I leaped onto a plane with my parents and headed to Oklahoma, in my opinion the ugliest state in our country. If you are from OK, don't argue with me. I have visited OK many times over the past 15 years and it is ALWAYS ugly. No matter the season or city my sister is currently living in, it's ugly. But I go anyway and this time it was for Dallas' baptism the first time I have seen his preciousness since the wedding. Man, has he grown!



Really, they all have grown! The baptism was lovely and now there is some hope for his salvation. I mean seriously between being named after an NFL team, living in OK with my sister, and growing up believing it's ok to insist your special dinner be at a very unappetizing Mexican restaurant so that you then order a corn dog really makes me wonder what is in store for his darling soul.





One might think that I would learn this is the most unflattering position to take a picture, the self picture. But seriously it's addictive and I cannot seem to resist. As in further proof because upon returning from Oklahoma it was time for more unflattering shots with John to celebrate his 4th birthday.




Apparently it's in the male gene.


I adored spending a weekend with The Boys, which if you notice in the picture below is now at the count of four. FOUR. BOYS. Poor Ginny.


Popout
Can you tell which one I think is destined for a career in Vegas?

Phew. All the travel.

I was home just for a few days and enjoyed the madness of the crazy kids all hyped up for the holidays. I have to brag on the rugrats and tell you they all were rock stars in our annual winter program. We sang two songs and the kids were fantastic, especially since last year they all just stood at the front and literally screamed and cried. This year, all smiles, all singing, and note the cute snowflake shirts we made in class. If you think I am just bragging email me and I will send you the video clip, so darling.





Christmas day came thankfully with quiet and calm to my parent's house. We enjoyed serious feasts of deliciousness including my dad's traditional prime rib. Sadly, for some reason I didn't take a single photograph. But don't worry, not to break the pattern I do have this shot of Gabby's first professional sitting. What you see here is DNA proof that Stumpy is the father. Note the cowlick. All four us have it and so far all five grandchildren do too. Good times.



The fun didn't stop there because Harperk came up to The Hill to enjoy New Year festivities and to partake of what I hope is our new gift giving tradition. Instead of tangible exchange of goods we spent a morning at a spa where we received an hour Swedish massage and then an hour facial. My spa experience was nothing short of angelic but sadly Harperk's facial specialist was a bit of a jabber jaw and insisted upon talking to her about women discussing p*enis' with each other, which hello, I never do that with my girlfriends. And then made rude comments about her eyebrows and then gave her a shotty wax job.

I think she felt better after we became gluttons and partook of food fit for queens. We had homemade creme brulee at the toast of midnight, baked brie, pomegranate fruit salad, homemade chocolate chip cookies, brownies with cream cheese frosting, and of course sparkling cider.

With all the spirit of the new year I even forgave her for mocking my green resolutions and saying "I cannot believe you have totally bought into all that Al Gore crap." That is what happens when you live in a small town and can't shop at cool places like Whole Foods. Bless her heart she just doesn't know any better. All the more reason to stay her friend.

So in the midst of all the living that has been listed above I have also had to keep up with my day to day life and career. And as if I was just sitting around twiddling my thumbs I signed up for National Board Certification. You know, because it's not like I have anything going on really. Why not add that sort of pressure to my existence. But it's the biggest reason I have been so neglectful of documenting the fun that is my life. Working on my NBCT portfolio has sucked any fun that comes from writing. It's due March 31st so maybe then I can return to telling funny stories about weird strangers on the street giving me hugs like last week. Or how I have converted HarperK into a recycling carbon footprint conscious citizen. Until then, you may have to be satisfied with ridiculously long posts that win awards for having shameful amounts of pictures and links to old posts.

Happy New Year and welcome 2008!