Feb. 8, 2008

I'm Not Even Kidding


I am a self confessed eavesdropper, it comes along with being a neurotic people watcher. Today I over heard a conversation that made me thankful a) not to be a generic twenty something single and b) that sleep deprivation (more details to come) subdued me enough to keep my mouth shut.

I sat eating lunch at a table beside two girls who were very much "We watch The Hills dress like we're LC and Audrina even though we talk with southern accents ." The "blond" girl of the two was planning her wedding and based on comments from the "brunette" I gather she is the maid of honor, and boy what an honor it's going to be. For the sake of coincidence I will refer to them as Lauren and Audrina.

Audrina: Are you totally like getting a wedding planner?

Lauren: Like, I totally thought about it, but you know, I mean, you know I thought they would just crush my creative inspiration, and like I want it to be my wedding, with candlesticks and statues, and not like have to worry like about defending my creativity.

Audrina: Yeah, totally, I totally get it. Totally.

Lauren: Right? Have you ever had a wedding cake that was any good? I mean like totally wedding cakes are so expensive and no one even likes them right? So I want cheesecake, twelve of them with our names spelled like a letter on each and the 10th cake would have that you know weird squiggle thing for the "and". It will be awesome and seriously, I am so not just having any cheesecake, it totally HAS to be Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. It's my wedding and I am so totally not settling.

Audrina: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. I love it.

(Note, at this point I had to turn in my seat as to not be facing them directly while preventing total hysterical laughter but also so that I could continue to over hear this gem of a conversation.)

Audrina: What about your dress?

Lauren: Well, it depends. I mean I really like two, and it's so hard to decide because I look AMAZING in both and David's Bridal has such a good price that I can't even decide based on the cost.

(At this point, I had to close my eyes, take a few deep breaths, and really focus, so I missed a smidge of the conversation but when I regained composure I heard this morsel.)

Lauren: Yeah, I mean totally, I cannot handle rude. She seriously was so totally rude. I mean I like apologized to mom I forgot I was going to pick up the invitations last night but it's not like that big of a deal she just prints the invitations out on her computer, I mean it's not like she had to hand write them.

So let's recap here. A girl that was worried about a wedding planner squelching her creative inspiration is
a) having a reception with twelve Cheesecake Factory cheesecakes that spell two names and include an AMPERSAND,
b) having a hard time deciding between two gowns from Davids Bridal, and
c) getting invitations that can be printed on a computer.

I cannot imagine how elegant this inspired wedding of stock mass produced frozen chain cheesecake, with a dress that cost $99 and probably a thousand other girls will use this year, along with invitations printed on her mom's laser jet will turn out. If only I could go.